Meet JaKara and DeVonte. They have been living together for one year.
How did you two meet?
JaKara: I was on tinder one day.
JaKara: Yea and I was looking through my messages cause I was bored. I stopped on his message and he sent it on December and that was in August. And I clicked on it and didn’t even realize it was in December. So I said im gonna add you on IG but when I saw that was December I was like damn he probably done.
DeVonte: And then at that point I had worked my magic and it was wraps [Laughter]
JaKara: I messaged him on IG the same day and then we went on our first date and been together everyday since.
DeVonte: No wrap cap.
Me: So I have some hope on dating apps then.
J&D: Just a little bit.
DeVonte: Don’t get your hopes completely up but I mean you know definitely.
JaKara: It was a year August 15th 2021.
DeVonte: A year, month and 11 days.
What made you guys move in together?
JaKara: I'm clingy and and like to be with him everyday, every chance I get. We was together everyday and I was like we might as well move in together.
DeVonte: Everything worked out expense wise, relationship wise, so I was like why not.
JaKara: He has his own space.
DeVonte: Thats all I need, a little bit of getaway space.
Was there any family or friends who were against it and how did you handle that?
JaKara: We didn’t have those issues at all.
DeVonte: And if they did it don’t matter to me so.
Me: You guys are the 3rd couple who said that. Didn’t have any issues
DeVonte: I mean it don’t matter if they do say something. That's not their life.
JaKara: That's good though. I couldn’t imagine.
What is the best thing about living with each other?
DeVonte: The fact that I can spend this down time with you. Thats the biggest thing because the job I work I have a lot of separation time for her so me being able to come home to her and digress, realize some of stress and enjoy my time here before I have go clock back in.
JaKara: Same spending time with him as much as possible. I just love it.
DeVonte: Yea you already said you were clingy one time.
What is the hardest thing so far?
JaKara: I think for me when I have a bad day I just want to be by myself. I have closed myself in the closet a couple of times and he just like needs to know what’s going on and sometimes you just don’t want to talk about it and he has to know exactly what’s going on.
DeVonte: Yea I was gonna say that, when she has a bad day she’s stand offish and I'm just like “what’s going on”.
JaKara: Like I could be sitting here and not talk at all and he asking 1000 questions and I'm just like I just don’t want to talk about it.
Was it easy getting adjusted to living with each other?
DeVonte: I said it would cause before we moved here we already had basically kind of lived with each other. I had my own place and she had her own place but I was always over there so it made it easier to transition to writing our names on the same lease.
Me: What made you guys click?
DeVonte: I'll say personality, she’s very open. She would be into everything that I am not, very social and always happy.
JaKara: He wouldn’t be doing this, he talking a lot i'm surprised.
JaKara: It's those shots.
DeVonte: It's the shots for sure.
JaKara: But yea, he’s the opposite of me and he communicates very well. With me i'm like hm hmmm, I won’t say nothing so him teaching me how to communicate has been great. Sometimes I’ll think damn I will never said that but here we are.
DeVonte: Thats my job, thats what I'm here for.
How do you two handle heated situations?
JaKara: We yell at each other.
DeVontae: For sure.
JaKara: Cause I just gotta get it out, he gotta get it out and we just yell at the same time
DeVontae: Then we don’t listen to anything what each other said. So we just yelling just to yell.
JaKara: Then we realize this is stupid 10 mins later we calmed down to actually talk to each other. I can go days with just being like whatever.
DeVontae: I know.
JaKara: Idk what’s wrong with me but I can go dayssss but he gotta talk so we talk it out. I like to text he want to talk on the phone. I text him and he be like we can talk about this face to face.
DeVontae: So thats probably the biggest thing that helps us get through stuff is the communication, if not for that it would be hard for sure.
What is something you wish people would stop saying towards living with your significant other before marriage?
DeVonte: I really don’t have an answer for that, I mean I’ve heard things like if you’re not married you shouldnt be living together. I really don’t hear much outside of religious boundaries, sex before marriage. Everyone is an adult, you can control themselves and handle themselves and if you plan to be with somebody why not. Still go for it.
JaKara: I hate when people say, it doesn’t work out when you live with somebody cause all you need is communication and space. You can still have space. Like I can go in the room, he can go in the living room.
DeVonte: As long as you set boundaries when it gets to a certain point of understanding, thats when it becomes a little bit easier.
We’re there any rules set out before moving in together to make sure everything goes smooth, or you guys went the flow as days went by?
DeVonte: She makes me clean up after myself. I'm not gonna say i'm a messy person but I can get carried away with leaving my clothes, now when it comes to cleaning i'm good with that but with clothes I just them off and throw it in one spot and she gets on me at least once a day about it.
JaKara: Yea I told him before we move to this place we cannot be doing all that. You can not be leaving your socks when you take them off out em up! He still do it though and he gotta wash dishes I hate washing dishes. Hate it!
DeVonte: Valid Valid.
What is one advice you will give to a couple who is thinking about moving in before marriage?
DeVonte: F it shit happens. Go for it!
JaKara: I think you should think about it and talk about it because lets say we break up today this is the place where we live. So, really think about it see how y’all handle problems if you just leave then don’t do it, but if you communicate and handle it then do it!
DeVonte: Show empathy, empathy is sympathy. Those are kinda key factors cause sometimes there’ll be disagreements and you know I might not really understand what she’s saying at the time but it gives me a little bit to think about like alright cool. If you not willing to change certain things for your partner then you might as well call it quits.
JaKara: Okay sweetie.
What is both your favorite song to listen to together?
DeVonte: Off the top of my head, it's so many playlists. I've tried to make playlists once every couple of months of songs that randomly come out and we listen to it together cause she don’t like listening to new music and I'm a music enthusiast.
JaKara: It's a lot of songs but I'll say all the CLB songs. But ill definitely say soul ties by Kashpaige is our slow song.
What does love mean to you?
JaKara: You go first.
DeVonte: I'm a big dog so I can handle this! Ain't that right soso (their dog) yeah. Love means putting someone else first. You know they say you’re supposed to love yourself first but I feel like thats only if you are in a position where you have to be by yourself. If you have someone that you are willing to make sure that there good before your needs are met then thats love. Had to get a little deep on you.
JaKara: Welp I agree loves mean to put someone else first and definitely willing to change for that person. That's love.