Meet Courtney and Adrian they have been living together for one years.
How did you two meet?
Courtney: He slid in my DMs [Laughter].
Adrian: Definitely slid in the DMs.
Courtney: On Instagram and I was not like checking for him at all. He was being very persistent. It wasn’t overbearing but you made yourself known that you were still trying.
Adrian: I asked her on a date and she told me she had a boyfriend so I fell back and left it alone. But we still kept in contact, message each other on Snapchat here and there. Very cordial.
Courtney: Very platonic.
Adrian: A year later she broke up with her boyfriend and you know we kept talking and I asked her out on a date.
Courtney: First date was a Burks Pizza.
Me: Did it went on from there?
Courtney & Adrian: Hmmmm yea kinda.
Adrian: We waited a couple more months after our first date. We didn’t see each other after like 4-5 months.
Courtney: Because I agreed to the first date but I still had feelings for my ex so I felt like it wasn’t fair to him. Once I was okay we went on another date.
Adrian: We went to Scrambled then went for a walk and walked my dog and her parents dog. That second date was in March. The next time I saw her was on her birthday in October.
Courtney: It was so spread out! I was guarded but something told me to just try and i'm like okay, alright.
Adrian: I met her parents on her birthday and friends.
Courtney: But then that happened it was very low-key. Only my mom and best friend knew who he really was.
Adrian: Then after her birthday we went on more dates. I asked her out the end of November. It was almost year of us talking before I asked her out.
How long you two been together?
Courtney & Adrian: It will be 4 years.
Courtney: November 29th.
Me: Oh wow, thats a long time.
Courtney & Adrian: [Laughter]
What and when made you guys move in together?
Adrian: I moved in with her in October of last year (2020). But the main reason why I moved in with her is because when she was pregnant I was like alright well i'm going to move out of my roommates house and move in with her. After we lost the baby, she asked me if I was still moving in and I still was.
Courtney: We already talked about it as far as our plans for the future. We knew we wanted to get married and knew we wanted to be together and we were already talking about moving in, but what sped the process was me being pregnant.
Was there any family or friends who were against it?
Courtney: Well, my parents couldn’t really be against it because they did it. When my parents dated, they knew they wanted to get married and my mom at the time was like, “in order to get to know someone, you’re not gonna know who with unless you live with them.” I kinda have the same viewpoint, its just like yea you can date someone and have your own space but at the same time I only know who you are when I see you or spend the night. But sharing a space together, it puts it into perspective how things can work and learn more about each other.
Adrian: I had no problems. This is the first girl I ever lived with. My parents nor friends didn’t really care.
Courtney: Now my Nana wasn’t happy. She wasn’t happy when she found out I was pregnant and when she found out we’re living together, it was the icing on the cake.
What is the best thing about living with each other?
Courtney: He cooks.
Adrian: I would think spending quality time (Courtney still laughing in the background). Yea I'm a good cook.
Courtney: He is. He be chefing it up!
Adrian: I love to cook. I didn’t fully start cooking more meals till I moved with Courtney. When I was living with my roommate I barely cooked. Living with a frat boy, you mostly eating out, ordering pizza etc.. Now I have a girlfriend and living with her I cook for her and for me.
Courtney: And thats how I gained weight [Laughter].
Adrian: Don’t get me wrong, there are days where we get fast food or takeout but cooking now is a passion/hobby for me since living with Courtney.
Courtney: And with him living here, it feels like an added safe space. You know when you come home, that's your safe haven. But now I have a shared space with somebody that I love and i'm just like this even more feel like home. I feel more at home with him here.
What is the hardest about living with each other?
Courtney: [Laughter] You want to say it?
Adrian: You want me to say it?
Me: This sounds scary…
Courtney: It's not bad… its a 50/50 type of thing. And its nothing related to finances. Its more so stuff around the house. He would do most women typically do in the house if you are gender specific like clean or cook and I know it can be very overwhelming. I'll be very unmotivated or my depression will really hit hard and I don’t feel like doing anything. But honestly thats the only thing.
Adrian: Yea that's the only problem.
Courtney: And I am starting to get out of phase and getting back into swing of things.
Easy to get adjusted with living with each other?
Courtney: For me it took me a little bit longer just because I was so use to having my own space and making it my own. Now its like we have to blend it and make it look cohesive.
Adrian: Like a his and hers type thing. When I was staying with my roommate, I had L shape desk for my gaming area. I don’t have that anymore since I moved in. So me getting adjusted to sitting on the couch and just playing video games its not me. I like to sit at my gaming chair and desk. Also sharing my time with her as well so games are not played so much.
How do you handle “heated situations” when you disagree with something?
Courtney: Whew Chile. We’ve gotten better. See my thing is, I don’t like conflict or confrontation. If I don’t want to talk about it, I’m not going to. I can be impulsive and react off of emotions so I know that If I am in the mood, I don’t want to say anything like mean because I know I am stapling off of emotion. With him he is more of “lets talk about it and lets squash it right now”. I tend to shut down and it could be the Libra in me.
Adrian: You basically took the words out my mouth. I don’t like drama I like to get the problem solved right then and there and also fix it too so in the future, it doesn’t happen again.
What is something you wish people would stop saying towards living with your significant other before marriage?
Courtney: I guess, one thing I’ve noticed when we starting living together, I got a lot of “when are you going to get married” and I’m just like… yes ring and kids are the main questions. And we are just like can we live together first? I’m trying to make sure we’re good with living together and knowing what its like to have a shared space. We know what we want for the end result but we don’t want to rush into it.
Adrian: My family is different. I have cousins who moved in with there girlfriend and they didn’t care. My parents didn’t really care but of course they’re gonna ask about marriage.
We're there any rules set out before moving in together to make sure everything goes smooth, or you guys went the flow as days went by?
Adrian: No outside clothes on the bed.
Adrian: Definitely no outside clothes in the bed. Wipe down the sink after brushing your teeth.
Courtney: My dad was in the military so like which is weird because I would be able to let the house go for a little bit and then my mind is back on go mode, but little things like that is big.
Adrian: See I had to learn to not do all that stuff. Me living with a girl for the first time I gotta you know do things I am not use to.
Courtney: Luckily we haven’t had a you left the toilet seat up moment. I thank his sisters for that.
What is one advice you will give to a couple who is thinking about moving in before marriage.
Adrian: Things might get tough, but you know thats part of being and living with somebody. You are going to have ups and downs at the end of the day. If you really love that person, you are going to get through it. You also gotta have patience for that person.
Courtney: Don’t try to follow suit of what you see your friends doing as far as moving with a significant other because you don’t know what it took to get to that point.
What is your fav song you guys enjoy listening to each other?
Courtney: I know our song and you finally learned the lyrics to it.
Adrian: What song?
Courtney: Snoh Alegra x find someone like you.
What does love mean to you?
Courtney: You got first.
Adrian: No you got first.
Courtney: You go first.
Adrian: No you go first.
Courtney: Love that's a tough word. It's so small but it means so many things. I feel like when you’re in love with a person or just love in general its unconditional and its no matter what phase of love that you’re in. I feel like love is kind, its patient, its forgiving and I feel like when you find that special person in your life. That love will never fade away even if it wasn’t supposed to be with that person, you’ll always have love for that person. When it comes to him, I can’t explain it but I know I wouldn’t want to do life with anybody else but him.
Adrian: Love is accepting there flaws, and being patient. You don’t have patience for that person, what is love?
Courtney: *Starts singing what is love*
Courtney & Adrian: “baby don’t hurt me” [Laughter]
Adrian: But I think the reason why I love Court so much is because i'm so patient with her and vice versa. I accept her for her flaws even though you know… it's not bad. You accept me for who I am. Me collecting my pop figures and spending tremendous amount of money and yes you get upset, but at the end of the day you still love me. You push me through a lot of things and make me the person who I'm trying to become and the man I should be. I thank you and I do love you for that.
Adrian: I would say Courtney has a part of how I am now in 2021. If I wasn’t with her, I’ll probably be out there doing hood rat shit with my hood rat friends.