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Cohabitation Series

Meet Lit and Aaron. They have been living together for eight months.


How did you two meet?

Lit: we met at IHOP and we both worked there. But its funny, our friends knew each other but I was never around when they would hang out so I was kinda late to the introduction but one day he walked into work and my manager was introducing him to everyone and I looked over and said “hmm”

Aaron: No no no, nah I was seating people and you walked in late like you always do

Lit: But you didn’t see me when I first saw you . I saw you first

Aaron: And I was like aye your section over here but I need my head I was like gah damn.

[Laughter]



How long have you two been together?

Aaron: A year and four months.

Me: So what made you pop the question? (They are engaged)

Aaron: Well she put a time date on me.

Lit: No, all I said was I am not going to be someone girlfriend forever, you got 2 years max!

Aaron: But nah I just felt like it was the right time

Lit: You felt it in your heart?

Aaron: Yea

Lit: Awwww.




What made you guys move in together?

Lit: You know work really.

Me: Now was this before or after getting engaged.

Lit: No we moved in after being engaged. Got engaged July 4th and we moved in together July 31st. Moving to a new city I'm still transitioning from Greensboro to here.

Aaron: It just kinda make sense as well. Both had jobs in Charlotte.



Were there any family or friends that we’re against it? How did you handle that conversation?

Aaron: Nah.

Lit: My family is more traditional, I feel like his family is more go with the flow. But my grandma raised me and my grandma was like you know I think you should just stay in a hotel until you find an apartment. When I told her how much rent was here she was like oh yea maybe just move in for a little bit then find an apartment on y’all own.

*Lit and Aaron was living in Aaron’s mom house and moved into their apartment in January*

Aaron: Yea I just asked my people and it was cool.

Lit: Like his mom was like yes please come stay!

Aaron: It was no issue at all.



What is the best thing about living with each other?

Lit: We were long distance, was talking for a year and then we dated for a year. So we were long distance for 2 years so being able to physically touch him now. He lived in Texas and I lived here so we were thousands of miles apart. So being able to be next to him every day is the best part.



What is the hardest thing so far?

Lit: *Deep sigh*

Aaron: Hmmm.

Lit: This man don’t know how to..

Aaron: She thinks I don’t know how to conserve.

Lit: He uses everything just cause it's there. Laundry detergent, toothpaste. And then hell say ill nag about it. Whats the worst thing?

Aaron: I rebuttal, I object!

Lit: I bet you would.

Aaron: hmm when you live by yourself you want things to go a certain way and they’re entities when it comes to living with someone. So when things don’t go a certain way, it starts to ruffle some feathers but thats the only thing.

Lit: and also I guess ill say that too

Aaron: I wouldn’t say its hard its a lot of compromise

Lit: Yea a lot of compromise, that is a good word to use.

Aaron: I gotta be okay with you doing a certain thing and know that we still gonna be okay.

Lit: Just being cautious and Aware of what you do.



Was it easy to get adjusted to living with each other?

Lit: Yea I would say that because we were long distance for two years so being able to be near and spend quality time together that was an easy adjustment.

Aaron: Yea I agree.



How do you two handle heated situations?

[Laughter]

Lit: we are still working on conflict resolution.

Aaron: We are working on communication too.

Lit: It's like he over communicates and want to poke poke poke and solve the issue right then but I'm an under communicator. So when something goes differently than how I want it I just shut down. So we are still working on that.

Aaron: Sometimes we just need some space.

Lit: And then 20 minutes later he looks out the window and text me do you want to talk [Laughter] and I'll be sitting out here or living room and he’ll come down and resolve it. Our conflicts are not over big things it's just little.

Aaron: Yea it's never a huge issue.

Lit: Like why did you use all the laundry detergent or eat up all the turkey sausage and didn’t save me any.

Aaron: Stuff like that.



Do you think living together before marriage builds a greater bond or should you weigh it out?

Lit: Honestly at first when we first met like my grandmother and the way I was raised.

Aaron: She didn’t want to move in until we were ready.

Lit: I didn’t believe in cohabitation but now I am okay with it since we are engaged like if we were still boyfriend and girlfriend I don’t think so. Living together especially being far apart for so long it gives us insight to be able to work together so when that way when we get married it will be smooth transition. I think overall it depends on the situation.

Aaron: I feel like even if we was engage and living in two separate places I think we would’ve still be alright. But you don’t want to just move in with someone after you get married and then you find out this ain’t what you want. Kinda like buying a car without test driving it.



Were there any rules set out before moving in together or went with the flow?

Aaron: We had like rules but they weren’t rules that need to be said. Like make sure the bathroom is clean before someone goes in.

Lit: Make up the bed.

Aaron: If you’re the last one out the room then you know make sure everything looks decent. It wasn’t hard rules that we set up.

Lit: We basically went with the flow.



What is your favorite song you both enjoy?

Aaron: We have too many.

Lit: We have two, okay three.

Aaron: We were listening to fantasia last night.

[laughter]

Lit: Okay, Fantasia When I See You, Faith Evans Soon As I Get Home, and then Tory Lanez Jerry Springer.



What does love mean to you?

Aaron: I think love means compromise, I think love means putting someone else before yourself,

Lit: You definitely do that. Very selfless.

Aaron: I think its physical touch and whole bunch of different definitions but saying that no matter what, I will be there. You don’t have to worry, I will be right behind you 150% of the time. That what it is. Just staying strong, still. You know just because a tree is rooted just cause a limb break off don’t mean the tree died.

Lit: You getting all deep, I should’ve went first.

[Laughter]

Lit: Love is unconditional, love is having faith that you know making yourself vulnerable for someone else, it's trust. Love is realizing that that you don’t want to spend life without this person. Love is forever!

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